Wednesday, March 13, 2013


(c) Iyanla Vanzant, 2012.

Yesterday was a daze. There's just so much on your mind when someone you love is suddenly not there anymore. And I'll be honest, we're just so sad that Cory's passed. I hate it.

That being said, I know better than to focus on the hard, the sad, the overwhelming. Because in the midst of a storm, there's still good all around. There really is.

And that is what we want to focus on or magnify.

Yesterday Bam was showered with love from friends and neighbors. It helped so much--and just felt so so good. I'm so thankful we get to share our lives with such kind, thoughtful, beautiful family and friends. We are really blessed. Thank you to everyone who came by and helped with support yesterday. Bam received phone calls, messages, cards, and some really special gifts to help lift her spirits: bubble bath, scrapbooks, candy (and it really did help). See ...

(PS: 7 years of blogging and I still can't focus a camera. What the what?)

And on a happy note, Jay got his missionary photo taken yesterday. (He's preparing to serve a full-time mission this summer.) Yay Jay!

Jay, looking like a missionary.
(With a Filipino flag and Survivor mementos in the background!)

And Harriet the dog got her first haircut of the new year. (Which reminds me ... I need a haircut. But when is there time? Life was kind of a little easier when I lived on an island and never showered. Tons of time on your hands when you skip personal hygiene and grooming!)

Papaya and Harriet-the-Dog.


PS: Survivor is on tonight! 

It's hard for me to be focused on the show when so much is happening in "real life." But since I know a lot of you read my blog for Survivor-related updates, I want to at least check-in on tonight's episode (5).

It's a doozy.

This video capture definitely shows the stress of the game--ON MY FACE!

(c) CBS, 2012 and for the video capture.

It's really hard to explain to people, but Survivor is genuinely THE most stressful life experience I've ever had (twice!).

The living conditions don't really translate over TV, but as you watch tonight's episode I hope you'll remember, we're not sleeping well (on bamboo or wet sand--without any blankets, etc.); we're not eating well (though Favorites are eating MUCH better than the Fans); we're stressed from non-stop paranoia about alliances forming/reforming/crumbling/etc; we're dealing with RAIN and wet clothing; we're going to the bathroom OUTDOORS without toiletries; and we're 1000s of miles from our loved ones.

Essentially, we're playing a modern-day version of The Hunger Games.

And although we volunteered as tributes (ha), we still had no idea it would be THIS HARD.

Now, if you know me, you know I cry when I need to release stress. So don't be surprised if you see me cry a lot in tonight's episode (though I have no idea--I haven't seen the episode either)--because this period of the game was BEYOND stressful.

As you watch, remember, yes the players know the cameras are there--and in the big picture we are all "going to be okay," BUT, truthfully, we're at Day 10+ and the game is taking it's toll on us all.

And the tension in tonight's episode feels as real as anything I've ever been a part of in real life.

It is definitely a low-point in the game. From my perspective.

Thanks so much to everyone that reads the blog, emails or sends support. It means a lot to me to be able to share Survivor with others. It's such a profound life-experience. Wonky and wonderful and soooooo much more.

Have a beautiful day.

I'll check in tomorrow. 8)