|Watching Survivor Caramoan with my friends last night.|
(Thank you Shannon and fam.)
Well, I kid you not when I say I've
I know for some people watching it seems like, "wow, you cried over a retainer with 4 teeth on it? How come you played Survivor if you aren't 'tough'?"
But to be honest, I think you have to watch the secret scenes on CBS to get a true sense of how stressful the game of Survivor is. Because when you watch it at home, it's "just a game." But when you play it, "it's not a game anymore."
That camp is our whole world, our whole life. The other players are like family (at least for me). It's extremely hard on your body (I notice it on Erik most now--he's a skeleton!), it's hard on your mind, and it's hard on your spirit. Being 41 in a game where the next youngest female on your tribe is 28 tends to make you feel a little "old."
Anyhow, yes, it is a game--and we all know we get to go home once it's over (to love, to housing, to food, to freedom). BUT, the stress of playing becomes so consuming, your mind no longer sees anything BUT the game. The psychology of it is INCREDIBLE.
I like to think of myself as a fairly stable, self-aware person, and I'm telling you, THIS GAME IS HARD.
At any rate, I just wanted to thank all my friends and family who helped me prepare and endure and laugh at last night's episode. Particularly my kids and Dave. They have been so so so kind to their mom throughout all of this (and 2 of our kiddos never knew I had that retainer!). I owe them so much for being a support to me and helping me play this incredible game twice in a 12 month period.
And below, I've posted some of my favorite Secret Scenes from CBS.com. (Yes, they are mostly of me. Tee hee.)
How I'm feeling about the game at this stage (Day 27):
How it feels WATCHING someone else find the idol:
Me, immediately after Brenda finds my retainer:
Brenda, on finding my retainer (and my WAILING):
Phillip, after the game (a great video):
Fainting Sheep gif of Me: http://gifboom.com/x/5496179a
PS: Jay and Aub, I decided to post Prom pics tomorrow, so you don't have to share space on the blog with Survivor Caramoan. In my mind, the blog is a journal and I don't want our grandkids wondering how Prom didn't get its own entry. Hahahah! (PS: I don't mean your kids. Ahem. Tee hee. You know what I mean!)