Monday, December 09, 2013


I'm going to admit something here that makes me somewhat embarrassed, but I guess there really isn't that much I don't share on the blog, so here goes:

As grateful as I am for my life (Dave, children, family, friends, church, etc.), I don't often feel very peaceful.

Maybe it's my nature? Maybe it's my nurture? Maybe it's too much sugar in my diet? Maybe I'm just scapegoating the issue and it's something I've simply trained myself to do?

But no matter what the cause, I'm a worrier.


I worry a lot. In the morning. Throughout most of the day. Before I fall asleep at night. (And even when I wake up in the middle of the night.)

What do I worry about, you ask? (Or maybe you didn't. Haha)

I worry about BIG and SMALL things. I worry about health. I worry about our children. I worry about safety. I worry about Elder Meehan on his mission. I worry about our children and their education, happiness, faith, choices, and future lives. I worry about global things. I worry about my friends. My students. My car. The weather. I even WORRY about WHY I WORRY so much.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the point.

It's kinda funny.

Well, actually, it's not that funny. It really bothers me.

And I wonder why someone like me--who feels an overall sense of purpose and gratitude--STILL spends so much time worrying?

What's it all about? (PS: That's a rhetorical question.)

In some ways, I really do want to know the cause all of this worrying. But in other ways, I don't really care. I'm kind of of the opinion that it doesn't matter why you do something, as much as it matters that you are self-aware and KNOW you do it. Once you know, you just have to find a way to modify the behavior. (Assuming whatever we're discussing needs modification. And in my case, I do think it's unhealthy to worry.)

So, my point!

A friend of ours on her mission in Chile suggested that for Christmas this year we each focus on one Christ-like attribute we can try and adopt this year (as a "gift" to ourselves and the Savior).

And as I considered all of the traits I think would be most helpful for me to adopt (patience, compassion, joy, etc.), I decided the most helpful one would be to adopt a more faithful/optimistic/peaceful approach to daily living.

So, that's what I'm doing.

I'm waking up today (Day 1) and I'm going to try my best to think positively, notice when I'm worrying and shift my brain to something different, and try to be a more peaceful person. (And I'm going to memorize John 14:27)

Wish me luck. I think it's going to take a lot of practice to make this change, away from worrying. It's a habit I've been "doing" for such a long time. (I think some of it began when we began parenting--you naturally have more concerns when you add a small person to your life. And then I think it was amplified when I played Survivor and began to "worry" about my basic needs being met, health, and placement in the game. It's a game that is so unpredictable. It requires a lot of control and loss of control--which caused me to worry. A lot! Ha!)

Anyway, I know this is a completely selfish post. I mainly just wanted to share this in case any of your are worriers, too.

We can try and kick the worry-habit together.

Have a beautiful week.


PS: In the end, you know research is going to verify that I come from a line of worriers, right? My cave-people ancestors probably survived because they were worriers (and anticipated real dangers better than their peers). So in some ways, this worrying may be a gene that blessed my people. Hahaha.

Oh, who knows?

Mr and Mrs Clause with our girls at our grocery store.
(In the middle of a pretty awesome snow storm.)
(PS: You know what I worry about in this photo? That DELI sign in the background.)

Whitney the cat continues to be less-than-thrilled about the holidays.
(Or maybe it's just the holiday clothing she objects to?)
(And in this photo, I worry that the cat is miserable and may retaliate.)

Sweet Jr and his friend were able to visit SLC Temple
Square this weekend--before his friend was baptized later that evening.
(He's pictured here with the two missionaries serving in our area.)
(And in this photo, I worry that it's blurry and I can't go
back and "redo" the special day/moment in order to have a keepsake.)

PS: The "Blooming Christmas Flower," in the first photo was grown by my BFF Janae.
(She grows a whole bunch of these each November and then shares them with friends in December.) I love Janae. And she loves plants. Which is hilarious because I love chocolate like she loves plants. Different and yet the same. Love.